On strength

Growing up playing sports, I felt as if I were invincible. I was in great physical shape- strong as could be- and had this competitiveness and leadership that set me apart and made me a great teammate. I loved playing baseball and soccer more than anything else in the world; they were everything to me. When I was playing, I was having the time of my life because I was with my friends and I was always one of the best in the league. At that point in my life, success wasn't hard to find- whenever I struck out, I would step back up to the plate and get a hit. Everything was good and I had years of high school sports to look forward to.

On my 14th birthday I had a soccer practice scheduled with a Burlingame select team. My parents told me I could skip this one because of my birthday, but because I was the team captain, I felt that I needed to be there for my team. Unfortunately, my night ended with me breaking my right tibia (shinbone- the big one). I had broken it before when I was six, but I knew that this injury would really set me back. I was in a cast for about five months (not including the time for rehab) and missed out on the entire Freshman year soccer and baseball seasons.

After spending a lot of time practicing and getting back into shape, I was able to play on the JV soccer and baseball teams during Sophomore year. It was so great playing the sports that I loved and representing my school at the same time. During the summer, I played baseball in a city league and was very excited to play varsity sports.

On Labor Day, September 5, 2005, I broke my leg for the third time, during an AYSO soccer game. Same sport, same leg, same bone. This was probably one of the worse days of my life- I had broken my leg twice within two years. I immediately imagined how difficult the next five to six months would be for me and completely lost my composure and sense of self. This final injury ended my baseball and soccer career- I didn't get to play on the varsity teams and haven't played either since.

The doctor told me that my right tibia bone was bowed with a weak point right in the middle. To this day, it isn't shaped like it should be and if I break it again, I would need surgery. I'm still not supposed to play sports that are too physical and I lost most of my speed. When I work out too much, my leg starts to hurt and I have to let it rest. I no longer feel invincible.

I believe that as we get older, we're supposed to get stronger- physically and emotionally. We spend so many years working out and having life experiences that as life goes on, we should be able to handle more things that are thrown at us. Unfortunately for me, my leg isn't ever going to get any stronger and I have to live with that. No matter how much I work out and try to brush away the pain I may feel, it eventually gets to me. I wish I had more strength.